Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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