she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Sorry my hands just texted you
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
