the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
