Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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