meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
