You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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