why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
