I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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