it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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