I think my vagina is haunted
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
