All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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