WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Found the puke drawer
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
You may now shotgun with the bride
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
