I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
