You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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