Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I think I just shit out all my problems.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
