Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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