You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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