Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Pooping to opera.
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