Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
