If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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