I want to walk on stilts...naked
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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