As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
