Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Randomize
