There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize