Having a random hookup so left but love u
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
