she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
