How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
