My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Do vagina's smell?
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
