your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I think my nap took me to another dimension
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize