i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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