Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Text me some of your sweat
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
