i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
