therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
