We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
I want her autograph on my taint
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
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