but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
