Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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