Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
