I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
