..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
there's paper in my vomit.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize
