She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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