Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
