Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
