He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
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