i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
P.S. I can't hear my feet
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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