is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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