In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
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