i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
So many bounce houses so little time
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
