Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
