My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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