spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
