she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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