Ambien. No doubt about it.
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize