Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
