drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
Randomize
