recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Randomize
