Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
