yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
