were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Text me some of your sweat
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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