She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
