I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
